Cold out? Many designs in this guide also come as a soft hoodie or crewneck sweatshirt. Shop Cozy Hoodies & Sweatshirts
Fifty is an odd birthday to shop for. He is not old, he will tell you so, and he is also no longer twenty-five, which his knees will gladly confirm. You want a gift that says "well done, you made it" without sounding like a card from the drugstore rack, and without turning into the gag gift that lives in a drawer until March.
A soft, funny tee is a surprisingly good answer. It fits in a gift bag, it needs no batteries, and he can wear it to the hardware store on Saturday. The only real decision is the joke, so this guide helps you choose one that sounds like him.
One honest note before you scroll: only one design on this page says "fifty" on the shirt. The rest are milestone-birthday, retirement and hobby tees that suit a man turning fifty. None of them print the number, which is a feature if he is touchy about it.
How to choose
Start with what he already jokes about. The best birthday shirt does not give him a new personality, it borrows one he already has. Ask yourself three quick questions. What does he complain about, lovingly? Knees, sleep, the thermostat, a lawn he pretends to hate. What does he brag about? A smoked brisket, a garage workshop, a very large cooler. And does he enjoy being teased in public, or would he rather get a quiet nod? If you can answer one of them, you already have your theme.
Pick a tone. A gentle roast works for the man who teases his friends and takes it back: aging, early bedtimes, "I'm not tired, I'm resting my eyes." A proud salute suits the quieter man who would rather be congratulated than teased, or who has had a long year and deserves a warm one. If you are unsure, choose the salute with a small wink. It is the safer lane.
Fit and sizing. Our unisex tees are cut relaxed, which means they hang easily and forgive a second helping. Most men should order the size they normally wear. If he likes a close fit, go down one; if he likes it loose and boxy, go up one. If you cannot ask, lay a tee he loves flat, measure straight across the chest from armpit to armpit, and compare it with the chart on the size guide (/pages/size-guide). For reference, a medium measures about 20.25 inches across and a large about 22. The hoodie on this page is the exception to the tee advice: check its own size notes.
Because every shirt is printed to order, we cannot take returns or exchanges for a wrong size or a change of mind, so a minute with a tape measure is the best insurance you can buy. Shoppers in the EU keep their 14-day right of withdrawal (see our refund policy).
Colours and care. Pick a colour he already wears. Wash it inside out on cold with similar colours, tumble dry low, skip the bleach, and keep the iron off the print.
